Why My Soccer Coach Hates Me? (+Tips to Deal With That …)


why does my soccer coach hate me

In my early days as a soccer player, I’ve really suffered mentally from the way my coach was treating me! I was truly thinking that he didn’t like me for whatever reason …

… Few years later, after experiencing many coaches with different personalities, I started a little bit to understand whether a coach just hate a player or it is just a coaching tactic to push the player give more on the training sessions.

This article explains my modest experience.

Reasons why your soccer coach might not like you …

Each coach has his own requirements! And, if the coach’s requirements and suggestions are not honored, a player can be in a difficult situation.

Not fulfilling tactical and technical requirements on the field, during the game or training sessions, not listening to the coach’s demands, all these can cause massive problems and ruin team atmosphere.

Soccer is a team sport, and each player has its position and responsibilities. Coach doesn’t like selfish players, who thinks only for their own benefit and does not subordinate himself to the team.

Players that sacrifice everything for their team and give everything for them on the playing field are the ones that will have the support of the coach even if their performance is not there yet.

No individual can behave as if he is greater than a team and to point out his achievements in front of a team.

Outbursts on and off the field, too much presence in media, coming late on training sessions, all that can jeopardize establishing good relations.

This is something that can ruin not only the relationship between coach and some player, but spoil chemistry of the entire team.

By the way, I know some coaches who hates players who are overweight! If that’s your case, then you can learn how to maintain a good weight for soccer

How do you tell if a coach likes or hates you?

Soccer games are the best indicator if your coach likes you or not, and if he counts on you in the future.

If, objectively, a player has earned his place in a team main formation with hard work and behavior, and coach lefts him on the bench, this can be a clear signal that something is wrong.

Second indicator is the level of tolerance the coach has for you. In general, coaches tend to forgive if a player makes a mistake.

Of course, they will point out the mistake, in order not to repeat it. If a coach has a lower level of tolerance towards you compared to other players, this can be a sign of dislike.

Keep in mind that the best way to resolve any problem on the relationship coach – player is conversation. If relations are strained at the level where no conversation can help, the sports director and club president must help in solving the problem.

It is worth mentioning that having a bad coach is by far the main reason why many new players think that soccer is a boring sport!

How do you deal with an aggressive soccer coach?

Aggressive soccer coaches are characterized with strict demands on training sessions and games.

They demand maximum effort from their players on every step and fighting for the ball all the time and at every part of the field.

If you do not comply with their demands, that can cause an aggressive reaction.

Best advice for a successful relationship with this type of coach is to have understanding for their way of work, as they want the best for a team.

Giving maximum effort on training, behaving disciplined, show fighting spirit and sportsmanship will satisfy coaches with aggressive coaching style.

Do not give up and give your best effort. Even when their reaction is more violent than usual, do not let it influence your confidence. Focus on the game and continue with maximum commitment.

How do you deal with a bad soccer coach?

If you have a bad soccer coach, who is not even aware of making mistakes, try first to talk to him and point them out.

You are able to state clearly your impression of his work and explain what bothers you. This is often the case with team captains and more experienced players, they have more freedom to do it.

Every player’s wish is to play better and progress with each training session and game. With players improving, the entire team will get better results.

With poor performance from a coach, the entire team goes backward. It is a favor to coach himself, if you give a suggestion about low intensity training, weak organization, and lack of advancement in a team.

In any case, no matter what the training and playing conditions are, show your respect with maximum effort, because every coach regardless of his quality has experience that must be acknowledged.

So do everything that is in your power to prove yourself, and if needed talk directly to your coach, or ask your team captain for help.

How a bully coach might affect you?

Job of the soccer coach is stressful and complex. Staying at the head of the team depends solely on their results and the play of the team itself.

Often, their outburst of rage and actions can be out of control and cross the line of acceptable.

Unfortunately, there are often cases of bully coaches that are punishing their players in an unacceptable manner.

If a player is showing disobedience, lack of effort at training or poor playing results, then it is justified to punish him whether financially or with additional work at practice, like push ups or running extra miles.

Even dropping out of a squad or expelling from a training session is acceptable in this case. However, bully coaches are aggressive toward their players without justified reason.

This can cause the opposite effect than desired, as players will feel unappreciated and their hard work unrecognized.

If cases like this happen, the entire team might turn against their coach and protect their teammates. This is an example of a situation that every team wants to avoid. Often clubs change their head coach and protect their players.

How to stand out in your soccer coach’s eyes?

Absolutely the best way to stand out is to show dedication at training sessions and games. Whenever you get your chance to play, use every minute on the field.

Give your best to fulfil the coach’s tactical idea and task. Submit yourself to the team and your teammates.

Also, never allow yourself to slack off on the training sessions, but give your maximum effort. Behave in the best manner according to Code of Conduct, and stay focused.

Players must constantly work on improving themselves and stay physically prepared in order to achieve everything that is required of them.

Stay after training is over, work individually to improve yourself, and ask some of the assistants coaches to help you.

As much is important to show dedication to practices, it is important to pay attention to your behavior off the field. Soccer players must live healthy, athletic lives, and do not stand out with scandals and bad behavior.

To any soccer player, out of crucial importance is regular sleep and appropriate nutrition plan.

Coaches value players that are dedicated and hardworking, and once you impose yourself as such, you will not only secure your place in a team, but also be the role model to others.

Now … How do you deal with a coach that doesn’t like your child?

This very complex situation often occurs in youth team selections. The role of a parent is to do everything he can to direct his child with appropriate education.

As a result, we get the behavior of a child in training sessions. The role of each parent is to get the child to practice and not interfere in the coach’s work. However, if you notice that the coach does not like your child, try to talk with the coach and resolve the situation.

Express your concern and try to solve the issue.

Often, ambitious parents go over the line and focus only on the coach, analyzing his every action. They forget that every player must earn his minutes, especially in youth categories.

They must motivate their child and communicate with the coach frequently, and stay involved in their child’s development. If you feel your child is left out, immediately talk to the coach and ask for a rational explanation.

From the conversation, you can conclude if the coach does not like your child. The coach must be objective and not biased. He is not only a coach to a child, but also a pedagogue. If he is not capable of teaching according to standards of his profession, talk to a club manager.

When it is time to change leave your coach?

If after investing all your efforts things do not change, it is a clear sign that your coach does not count on you and it is time to leave a club and find an environment more suitable for you.

Simple said, you do not fill in his soccer philosophy and you should not waste your time. There are other coaches out there, that you will probably have better understanding.

Appreciate your talent and value, and especially your time. You become a good player by playing games, and only through regular competitive matches, can you develop and stay confident.

It is especially important to keep an eye on how the coach behaves after you had a conversation with him, asking him to give you a chance to play.

If after that, he does not adjust his behavior that is another sign for changing the team. Do everything you can to earn your playing minutes, and if that is not enough, change the environment and try somewhere else.

Final Thoughts: All this apply to all athletes in any discipline …

Most of what I’ve said applies to soccer as well as every other team sport!

Basketball, football, rugby, lacrosse, hockey, you name it…

In these sports, both coaches and players have their own demands that need to be acknowledged. Moreover, everyone should be aware that the team comes before each one of them.

No one is allowed to jeopardize a club’s stature and ignore the club’s philosophy and code of conduct. Players must be aware of what demands the coach placed upon them and to value his way of thinking.

On the other hand, a coach must recognize his players’ dedication, hard work, and positive behavior.

Only through mutual respect and joint forces, it is possible to achieve desired results in any team sport. This is the essence of success, whatever sport you choose to play.

Claressa Cormier

Claressa Cormier has over 15 years of soccer experience between playing the sport at a semi-professional level, following the biggest soccer teams & leagues out there as well as helping beginners to get started on the right foot.

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